


These are the Moments I Cherish

by MarsHunter06



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), F/M, Honne is everything, Romanogers is Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 10:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19828147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarsHunter06/pseuds/MarsHunter06
Summary: Steve will do whatever it takes to bring Natasha back, he travels to Vormir and together they decide to change their fate. One memory at a time.





	These are the Moments I Cherish

**Author's Note:**

> This was really meant for the last romanogers week...
> 
> Heavily influenced by Honne's "Feels So Good"

“Want to tell me about her?”

Steve smiles, “no, I don’t think I will.”

~~~

_ Steve’s returned all but two stones. There are two paths he can take. He’s willing to do whatever it takes. He owes her that much. _

_ With the timestone in hand, Steve returns to the forties. The war had been won, the past him is already under the ice; and there’s only one thing left to do. He approaches the quiet house, everything he thought he wanted, she’s inside, waiting for him.  _

_ She opens the door and tears immediately fall from her face, she can’t believe her eyes. _

_ “Steve.” _

_ “Peggy.” _

_ The two long lost lovers embrace. He squeezes her extra tight; he’d be lying if he said a part of him never yearns for this. Time no longer matters as long as they’re together. She invites him inside, questions push to break free, but for now, they had to make up for lost time. She doesn’t care about the how or the why, all that matters is that he’s here now. _

_ They finally share their dance, both are lost in the moment. Lost in each other. With a smile on her face, Peggy looks up at the man she fell in love with and lost. Steve meets her gaze and slowly, their lips meet. This was their second chance. He could stay here and live out his life with her. The way they’re meant to, but it’s all wrong. This wasn’t why he was here. _

_ The record skips interrupting their moment, they both laugh while Peggy apologizes. She turns the phonograph off.  _

_ “You’ve done well for yourself, Peggy.” _

_ “Well, a woman needs do what she has to do.” _

_ “Even if it means moving on.” _

_ “Steve… I never gave up hope, and I’m glad I didn’t because you’re here now.” _

_ “Margaret Carter, I promise you’re going to live a long and happy life.” _

_ “I know, so will you, Steve.” _

_ There’s a hint of guilt in Steve’s eyes, Peggy wants to question him about it… He was going to do something reckless again. No, not again, not when she just got him back. She opens her mouth to speak, but the phone rings. She looks toward the kitchen then back at Steve. The guilt disappears, an encouraging smile on his face instead. She returns it. _

_ “I have to get that. Stay right there.” _

_ … _

_ But when she gets back, he was gone. It was as if he never appeared. Tears well in her eyes, she knew it was too good to be true. Wherever he was, she knows he would want her to move on; he told her so himself. He’s not coming back, she doesn’t need to stay in the past waiting for him. Peggy Carter is more than Captain America’s girl and she’s going to prove it. _

_ Steve returns the time stone, all that’s left is the soul stone. He knows Bruce is probably panicking right now. He missed the jump point, but hopefully they’ll understand. It’s not fair to leave behind Bucky or Sam, but he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t at least try. _

_ … _

_ VORMIR _

_ “Steve, son of Sarah.” _

_ He would remember that voice anywhere… Red Skull. Somehow he’s not surprised, if he could survive under ice then who’s to say that Red Skull wasn’t still alive. _

_ “So this is where you were banished.” _

_ “For an eternity until your friend decided to seek the stone. I am no longer bound now that it has been taken.” _

_ “Then what are you still doing here?” _

_ “You wish to bring the stone back, that is why I am here.” _

_ “You can’t stop me.” _

_ “Do you think doing this will actually bring her back? It’s an everlasting exchange. A soul for a soul and she gave it willingly.” _

_ “Well I’m here to return it. Like you said, a soul for a soul. I want Natasha back.” _

_ “This isn’t how it works.” _

_ “I have to try and you’re not going to stop me.” _

_ “Very well, do what you must.” _

_ Red Skull gestures to the edge of the cliff, Steve looks down and sees Natasha’s lifeless body at the bottom. He’s brought to his knees at the sight, tears flow down his face. She knew exactly what the cost was and she paid the ultimate price. He still remembers her vow— whatever it takes. This time is no different. _

_ Up close was even worse. Her eyes were still open, and there was so much blood. He kneels closer to bring her into his arms. He finally allows himself to crumble. He weeps for her; she was all he had for the last five years— truthfully, it was longer. She’s been right there by his side since the attack on New York. Things were supposed to be different, they should have been able to move on, together. _

_ “Nat… I’m sorry. This job… who we are… please come back to me. It wasn’t supposed to be you. Fuck. I should’ve gone with you…” _

_ He leans down and kisses her forehead before placing the soul stone in her hand. A soul for a soul, to bring back who he loves most. _

_ The scenery changes around him, complete darkness then an orange hue quickly changing to red. Natasha’s body is gone and he’s left alone on the ground. A bubble floats by him, his eyes follow it to reveal hundreds of them all heading in the same direction. They’re not ordinary bubbles, they’re memories. Natasha’s memories. At the center of it all is the Black Widow herself. _

_ She’s alive. He moves toward her, but she doesn’t react. He pauses. _

_ “Nat…” _

_ She smiles, but there’s a hint of sadness behind her eyes. _

_ “Steve.” _

_ “Nat, what’s going on here?” _

_ She doesn’t answer, instead she frowns, he takes a step towards her, closing their distance as she puts out a hand to stop him. They’re so close, he could almost touch her, all he has to do is reach out, but she doesn’t let him. _

_ “No. Not again. I can’t do this again.” _

_ “Hey, it’s okay. I’m here.” _

_ “No you’re not. Every time I feel a bit of hope you show up and every time I let myself believe you’re actually here. Not this time, it’s always worse when it’s you Steve.” _

_ He wants to reassure her, but from her stance and downcast eyes, he knows she won’t believe it. She doesn’t want to hold on to hope for fear it would vanish once more. He hates seeing her this way, Natasha never allowed herself to appear weak, even when she was falling apart. He got a glimpse of those moments after the snap. She still won’t look at him, refusing to acknowledge his existence, so he does the only thing that he hopes will get her to let her guard down. Another step forward and before she can back away, he pulls her into his arms and hugs her. She doesn’t react at first, but soon, she’s clutching onto him with tears spilling out of her eyes. He’s real. She’s alive. They’re together and that’s all that matters. _

_ “... you’re really here this time… you didn’t fade away…” _

_ “I’m really here and so are you. God, Nat, I’ve missed you so much.” _

_ “I’ve missed you too…” _

_ She detaches herself from him and puts on a brave smile. _

_ “Did we win?” _

_ He smiles, “we did.” _

_ “Then I guess it’s time for you to go live your life, Steve.” _

_ His smile disappears. _

_ “I thought we agreed we both needed to get a life.” _

_ “You first.” _

_ “Nat…” _

_ “I can’t exactly go anywhere Steve. I’m technically dead. A soul for a soul. An everlasting exchange. It can't be undone.” _

_ “I gave it back to bring you home.” _

_ “Steve… it’s not that simple… that’s not how it works.” _

_ “Then tell me how it works, I’m here now. We can face it together.” _

_ She wants to believe him, really she does, but if it doesn’t work he’ll be crushed. Knowing him, he wouldn’t be able to leave her; that wasn’t part of the deal. _

_ A bubble floats by and in it, the memory of their first meeting before the battle of New York. They both smile, reminiscing about the moment that started it all. It was always the two of them together from the very beginning. Her smile fades as she looks back at him. _

_ “This is why I can’t leave. I’m bound by my memories. I have to relive them over and over. It’s what’s keeping me alive, in a sense.” _

_ He looks around and sees all of her different memories, from buried childhood trauma to lighthearted fun with the avengers. One memory catches his eye, before he even knows it he’s reached out and popped it. Immediately they’re transported to the moment. He remembers this clearly. It was right before they parted ways with Steve looking for Bucky and Nat finding another cover. She gives him one final smile before kissing his cheek then turns to leave. _

_ —— _

_ “I should’ve never let you leave. I should’ve asked you to come with me.” _

_ “You knew I wouldn’t have stayed. It wouldn’t have been the right move.” _

_ “We would’ve been happier I think. I should’ve at least tried.” _

_ “Well… maybe if you begged and confessed how much you needed me, then I would’ve stayed… or maybe not.” _

_ “You would’ve stayed. You’re not out of the cemetery yet, I still have a chance to stop you.” _

_ They both knew how it would play out, both smiling like fools at their past self. Natasha waits for the memory to fade like it always does, but it doesn’t. Her eyes widen in surprise as she sees past Steve running after her. _

_ “Nat!” _

_ The redhead turns around with a smile on her face. _

_ “Miss me already, Soldier?” _

_ She teases him, but his face is serious. She doesn’t expect the next words to come out of his mouth. _

_ “Stay with me.” _

_ “Steve… you know…” _

_ “Please. Stay. I know you have your own things to figure out and I have mine, but I don’t want to lie awake thinking about the what if’s, I have to at least try right now.” _

_ “You don’t need me, Steve.” _

_ He takes her hand, holding on to it, as if he was afraid she’d run. _

_ “You might not think so, but things are just easier with us together.” _

_ He smiles at her and she smiles back. _

_ “If you wanted a spy to help with intel, all you had to do was ask. You’re so dramatic, Steve.” _

_ “Does that mean it worked?” _

_ —— _

_ The scene ends sending them back to the center of all the bubbled memories. Steve turns to Nat with a puzzled expression, but she doesn’t meet his eyes. She blinks once then twice before seemingly regaining her senses again. Concerned, Steve reaches for her. _

_ “Nat?” _

_ “That’s never happened before… I’ve never been able to change my memories.” _

_ The memory bubbles continue to float around, but now the ones containing Steve move to the forefront. Far off in the distance new bubbles are forming, though it’s not something the two could notice. The two take in all the memories surrounding them and each other. A bubble comes in between them, depicting their interaction at the church before they part for the accords. Seemingly with a mind of its own, the bubble bursts and again the two are taken back to the past.  _

_ —— _

_ “I didn’t want you to be alone.” _

_ Steve remembers that line well. She was always there for him. He wanted so badly to tell her that as long they were together, he would never be alone.  _

_ The two embrace before they’re due to meet again on opposite sides of the battlefield, but once more, the memory changes. _

_ Steve holds Natasha tighter and breaths in her scent. She happily embraces him back with the same amount of passion. Neither of them want to let go, but it had to be done. _

_ “Don’t go, Nat. Please, just stay here with me.” _

_ “Steve… you know I have to…” _

_ He just shakes his head. This is the first time they’re disagreeing on something so important. He doesn’t want to believe it. She starts to pull herself away, but he grabs her hand to stop her. She almost wants to give in from the way he looks at her, but she has to stay strong. He completely catches her off guard when he brings her hand to his lips and kisses them. _

_ “Steve…” _

_ “Just be careful out there.” _

_ He smiles up at her and she melts. She smiles back. She has to let him know that she’s still on his side. _

_ “Do you trust me?” _

_ “With all my heart.” _

_ That was all she needed to hear, to know that he understood. Nothing had to be said between the two. They’re still connected at their hearts. Natasha leans in and kisses him on the corner of his mouth before she leaves. _

_ —— _

_ The altered memory ends and they’re back in the vortex of bubbles. Neither of them know what was happening or why. _

_ “I don’t understand…” _

_ “Maybe this is our second chance.” _

_ “We’re way past second chance, Steve.” _

_ “That’s my fault, but maybe I can change that, one memory at a time.” _

_ The image of the two of them in Sokovia passes by and without another thought, Steve reaches out and pops it. _

_ —— _

_ “Where else am I going to get a view like this?” _

_ She says this to show she’s with him no matter what. This is what they signed up for when they decided to stay with the team. _

_ “Nat…” _

_ “Don’t go soft on me now, Rogers, we have a job to do.” _

_ “Don’t I know it, but you’re not off the hook yet, Romanoff.” _

_ “Only if you can catch me.” _

_ They both laugh before going their separate ways, they both knew they would come back to each other. They always do, but first, the world needs saving. _

_ —— _

_ Little by little, each memory with the two of them together changes— from the calmer moments of the two joking around Steve’s apartment, to the more serious, life threatening moments during their missions. Each memory was changed to bring them together. The new bubbles off in the distance move closer and closer to the center with every change. _

_ —— _

_ “I’m going to regret this.” _

_ She shoots her widow bites at T’challa allowing Steve and Bucky the chance to escape. She tells them to go as she fires another shot at the Black Panther. _

_ “Thanks, Nat, I owe you one.” _

_ “Let’s call it even, you can owe me another time.” _

_ Bucky gives Steve a knowing look as they head towards the jet. He does end up in her debt when she helps him free the rest of Team Cap from their cells. _

_ —— _

_ She watches Bucky turn to dust in front of her eyes. Steve is there too and he can’t hide the look of shock on his face. She immediately runs to him— not him— He can’t disappear too. She reaches out to him and he’s still there, on the ground as they suffer their defeat. _

_ “We lost.” _

_ She could never forget those two words nor this moment. She drops to her knees, putting a hand on his shoulder to let him know that she’s still with him. He turns to face her to make sure she’s alright. As long as they were both still here, it would be okay. Natasha gives him a weak smile. Even with half of the earth dusted, she wasn’t giving up. Neither was he. _

_ —— _

_ “That last one wasn’t any different than what actually happened.” _

_ “No, it wasn’t…” _

_ “Steve…” _

_ “I’m not giving up, Nat. Not on you. You were supposed to be back in a minute.” _

_ How could she forget? Those were the last words she said to him. Had she known it would have been the last, she might have chosen to say something else. _

_ All around them are the altered memories from every single moment they were together. They bobbed around slowly, but each change caused them to join together, making a massive collage of their new moments. Natasha smiles as she looks at the vast collection in front of them. _

_ “It’s going to be okay, Steve. I know I’m not alone. You’re always going to be here with me. Look at what we were able to do here. This will be enough. You need to go back home.” _

_ “You are my home, Natasha.” _

_ “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.” _

_ Steve was ready to do whatever it takes to bring her back, but if it’s not possible, then he has no regrets staying with the woman he loves. He wipes the tears falling on her cheek— the way he should have when she broke down before Scott turned up. She holds him close looking up into his blue eyes that she loves so much. He smiles at her before leaning down to claim her lips in a kiss. _

_ A sea of auburn bubbles float by and all pop right as the two kiss. _

_ —— _

_ Natasha opens her eyes to find that she’s alone. She panics and immediately tries to sit up, but finds it difficult. Her hand finds their way to her stomach, she lets out a gasp. It’s not possible. _

_ “Nat, are you alright?” _

_ “Steve?” _

_ He appears in the doorway, in two strides he was right next to her. He smiles, she relaxes just slightly at the sight. He helps her sit, careful of her predicament; he leans down and kisses her belly before talking to the baby inside. _

_ “James, stop giving your mother a hard time. You’ll have plenty of opportunities when you’re born.” _

_ “James?” _

_ “If you’re okay with it. I know we haven’t exactly picked out a name yet, but I’ve been meaning to ask you about it.” _

_ “It’s perfect.” _

_ She still doesn’t fully understand what’s going on, but she doesn’t question it. She simply pulls Steve down for a proper kiss. _

_ —— _

_ When she opens her eyes again, she’s not alone, she’s seated on a couch surrounded by the rest of the team and two adorable kids. Steve has his arm around her as the two watch Morgan and James play with Legos. Tony joins in on the fun when they start to argue over who made the better fortress. _

_ “Hm… they’re both pretty good. What do you say, Cap?” _

_ Steve chuckles before getting off the couch so that he can better examine the blocks. _

_ “You’re right, Tony, they’re both good!” _

_ This fails to be please either of the kids. There has to be a winner, right? _

_ “Red? A little help here?” _

_ “Oh no. I’m not getting involved. I say we get your uncles to decide.” _

_ “But mommy…” _

_ James looks at her with puppy dog eyes that he most certainly got from her. She gives in. How could she say no to that face? She moves off the couch between the two little ones and their creation. _

_ “You know what? I have an idea. Why don’t you two combine the two fortresses? We do need the room to fit all of your uncles in here.” _

_ The kiddos think it over and quickly decide this is a fantastic idea. They get to working on the giant lego building. _

_ “That is a great idea.” _

_ “I’m more than my looks, Rogers.” _

_ “Don’t I know it, Mrs. Rogers.” _

_ He winks at her while she rolls her eyes at him, but she loves him. He leans in to give her a kiss. _

_ —— _

_ They both open their eyes and neither of them can believe it. Their hands are joined at the altar as they listen to Sam say the words to make it official. _

_ “You may now kiss the bride.” _

_ Neither of them waste another second as their lips meet. They vaguely make out the sounds of cheering in the background, but that wasn’t their focus. All that mattered was that they were finally together. _

_ ~~~ _

Steve opens his eyes, he somehow ended up back near Tony’s cabin. He looks to his left, Bruce was no longer there, but Sam and Bucky were. They were both sharply dressed, but it was clear they were a little beaten up.

Bucky lightly punches Sam in the arm while smiling.

“Sure, act like you didn't just witness first hand what happened.”

“Had to make sure he’s still all there. He’s been staring at the lake for a good hour now, and I figured bringing up his wife would be the quickest way to snap him out of it.”

“Don’t worry, boys, he’s alright.”

The three men turn their heads to see an injured Natasha, still in her wedding gown, leaning against a tree. Steve immediately rushes over to her. She just smiles at him allowing him to check her injuries.

“You’re really okay?”

“A few scratches, but other than that I’m fine. You?”

“Better now that you’re here.”

“I’m really here, Steve.”

The two share a moment knowing what happened to them back on Vormir. They don’t remember how they were able to get back, the memories were fuzzy, but it worked.

“You know, you two are free to go on your honeymoon now instead of just making eyes at each other under a tree.”

“Give them a break, Sam, these two idiots finally get hitched and Red Skull decides to show up and ruin it.”

Once Steve and Natasha were freed from the soul stone, it seems it also gave Red Skull a chance to break his curse.

“Captain America and Black Widow decide to get married, we should’ve expected some wedding crashers.”

Steve and Natasha were confused, but they laughed as well. The possibility that they’re still on Vormir is still there, but this feels different. This is real.

_ These are the moments I cherish _

_ Us hiding from the rain _

_ Stay by your side till I perish _

_ I know you’d do the same _

_ I never knew that this could feel so good _

The beginning of “Feels So Good” by Honne starts to play in the background. Neither of them remember ever hearing the song before, but somehow they knew this was their song. It seemed very fitting. This was their cue to go back and finish their reception. They did get interrupted before their first dance as husband and wife.

Surrounded by their loved ones, even those they thought they lost, Steve and Natasha at last get their dance. He holds her close, careful of her shoulder, as the two sway along to the music with the right partner at last.

**Author's Note:**

> These are the moments I cherish  
> You kissing me goodnight  
> Everything else seems to vanish  
> When I’m lying by your side  
> I never knew that this could feel so good
> 
> At last a love that feels just like it should
> 
> This feels so good (feels so good)  
> You got me in the mood, for love  
> I don’t know your horoscope But I know that you keep me close  
> ‘cause this feels so good (so good, so good)


End file.
